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What is she thinking? - 11/4/2008 5:15:48 AM
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Leviticus26
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I have a few Girls at work that like me and stuff, and I try to tell them that I'm not interested in a relationship as I just got out of one, and That I have alot of ministry stuff I am involved in, so I haven't got time for a female. Why is it that even though I tell them this, they won't stop pursuing me? It seems the more you tell a chick your not interested the more they try. Ladies, why is that?
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RE: What is she thinking? - 11/4/2008 8:22:08 AM
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twinkly
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I can think of a few things:
We always want what is not available (and I don't mean a married man or one that is in a relationship) I just mean, you are sending out not interested vibes, so now you are a challenge
We women think we can change your mind
We want to help you heal from your break up and show you what wonderful women we are
We don't take rejection well.
Some women do not take no for an answer
That is just to name a few....
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RE: What is she thinking? - 11/4/2008 9:11:53 AM
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Szaftoo
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Maybe it's the way you are saying "not interested".
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RE: What is she thinking? - 11/4/2008 10:49:24 AM
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car2ner
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From: just north of Florida
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quote:
We women think we can change your mind
This is a pretty common fault of women. Even after a woman has a man, she tends to think she can change his mind about issues and then is stunned and amazed when she can't.
Perhaps they are just being friendly. Some women also don't mind being "just friends" with guys and they aren't really chasing you to catch you. They just enjoy your company and ideas.
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RE: What is she thinking? - 11/4/2008 11:51:19 PM
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LovebirdsFlying
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I've seen men who also can't take no for an answer, so please don't think it's only women.
In a support group, I brought up a recent problem I'd had about men coming after me and after me and after me, even when I've given them a clear NO. A man spoke up and said that his peers always made fun of him when he took no for an answer. "When a woman says no, she really means later," they said. And there is that stereotype. How many bad movies have shown a man saying to a woman, "You say no with your lips, but yes with your eyes...." 
Which bugs me, out of either sex. No means no, whether it's a woman saying it or a man.
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RE: What is she thinking? - 11/15/2008 11:51:56 PM
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ebony101
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If you say that you're not interested. I'd move on, no sense in hanging around waiting for you to change your mind. But it depends on how you say you're not interested:
i) Are you trying to hint at it because I'm no good at guessing games.
ii) Do you say you're not interested but continue putting out signs that you may be interested.
If you're really not interested and a woman still hangs around you, then I suggest that you stop having any type of contact with her. That would be a sure way to put a stop to any unwarranted attention.
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RE: What is she thinking? - 11/20/2008 3:21:36 PM
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PaleHawkWoman
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There's an old song "To Dream the Impossible Dream".
Some people think that its terribly romantic to persue what they can't have.
Some people think that tackling the impossible enobles them.
Some people don't really think about it, they just "go with it" because it gives them purpose, something to fill up the emptiness in their life.
Some people overestimate their ability to attract others, and those who aren't attracted to them are surely just not paying enough attention.
Some people are too stubborn to take 'no' for an answer, and then there are those who are stubborn past the point of stupid.
Personally when I was young and single I was not the kind who persued a man and especially one who let it be known he wasn't interested in me like that. No matter how attracted I was to a guy, I was a watcher instead of a chaser; I waited to see what he was like and then if he was attracted to me. If he wasn't, I let it go.
Growing up as a tomboy gave me a lot of insight into how guys think and I've always appreciated the blunt, straightforward approach of most male communication. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and then shut up and get on with it.
Leviticus, I guess you can tell from this experience that women can be just as clueless about men as we often complain men to be about us, and I'm sorry that you're having such trouble. Just be respectfully firm in your communications with your female peers and let their problems dealing with it be their problems, not yours.
DO keep in communication about this with your pastor, deacon, or whoever is over you in your church or fellowship so as to keep your nose clean and your backside covered should one of these young ladies take things the wrong way and get in a snit about it. Not every woman who goes to church is truly Christian and this situation lends itself to the notion that these young ladies are not being very godly. That old adage about "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is dead-on and there is not a man on the face of this earth who can out-do a woman when it comes to going for revenge in the most byzantine ways.
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RE: What is she thinking? - 11/20/2008 5:07:44 PM
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sudden
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From: Toronto
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Dear Leviticus26:
I'd say you are not expressing yourself clearly or in a way that your facial expression contradicts what you are saying. When you speak to them do not smile...no telling them how sweet they, what a good person they are and so forth.
Put on your most serious face and tell them in no uncertain terms that you are not interested...end of story. No need to explain why. I have a feeling that your explanation (for the thick-headed dumb-bells) is giving them reason to hope as eventually you will have , as you put it, your ministry "stuff" together.
Be forthright and unpretentious. Simply say "I'm not interested". Sounds harsh but the message is exceedingly clear. This approach will get through to even the thickest of the thick.
As for those who continue to pursue you even although you have said no It is my belief that they are suffering from low self esteem. It is tragic that they had such a poor experience in their primal relationship with their father and feel they need to "beg" for love. Stay clear of such folks when you decide you are interested again. They "need" much.
Yours for dealing with the insane,
Sudden
< Message edited by sudden -- 11/20/2008 5:15:06 PM >
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