quote:

Did He Get Married Too Young?
Albert Mohler - Author, Speaker, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

You have to give David Lapp credit. The 22-year-old young man knew what he wanted, and he got her -- a wife. It wasn't easy. When David and his wife Amber told her father that they wanted to get married (at ages 22 and 21, respectively), he hit the ceiling.

Thankfully, Amber's father changed his mind. The couple is now happily married, and David has told the whole world about it in an op-ed column for The Wall Street Journal. In the column, he deals head-on with objections to young marriage.

He writes, "As college-educated, professionally aspiring young adults in New York, my wife and I were bucking the prevailing social script by marrying in our early 20s." Indeed, the average age for first marriage for young men is now 28, and for women it is now 26. That reflects a significant change in the way Americans live, love, and marry. We now have the twin phenomena of delayed adulthood and extended adolescence. Young Americans, by and large, are not waiting for sex . . . but they are putting marriage off into a distant future.

As David Lapp reports, some social scientists argue that "early marriage" is a leading cause of marital breakup and divorce. Lapp puts that argument to flight with his point that the early marriages that fail are often teenage marriages.

In his words:

First, let's take a closer look at that term "early marriage." While it's true that teenage marriages are a significant predictor of divorce, it turns out that marriages of people in their early to mid-20s are not nearly as much at risk. According to a 2002 report from the Centers for Disease Control, 48% of people who enter marriage when under age 18, and 40% of 18- and 19-year-olds, will eventually divorce. But only 29% of those who get married at age 20 to 24 will eventually divorce—very similar to the 24% of the 25-and-older cohort. In fact, Hispanics who marry between the ages of 20 and 24 actually have a greater likelihood of marital success (31% chance of divorce) than those who first marry at age 25 and older (36% chance of divorce).

Read the rest of Did He Get Married Too Young?

Read more articles on www.Crosswalk.com
Marriage

quote:

Lapp is not opposed to exploration and fulfillment; he just thinks that marriage is a better way to get there and to enjoy the experience. "As focused as we young adults are on self-development, what if the path to that development is actually learning to live with and love another person?," he asks. "We may be startled to find that the greatest adventure lies not in knowing oneself as much as in knowing and committing to another person."

quote:

ORIGINAL: dboe

deermousie, i think the gals should have some job skills too! My mom always taught me that while its cool to learn to cook and all that, education was the most important thing for a girl to learn because she may never have a man to be married to! I am glad I followed her advice but I'm also glad I got married, and I am learning to cook (I learned after i got married :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fritzpw_Admin

He writes, "As college-educated, professionally aspiring young adults in New York, my wife and I were bucking the prevailing social script by marrying in our early 20s." Indeed, the average age for first marriage for young men is now 28, and for women it is now 26. That reflects a significant change in the way Americans live, love, and marry. We now have the twin phenomena of delayed adulthood and extended adolescence. Young Americans, by and large, are not waiting for sex . . . but they are putting marriage off into a distant future.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dboe

deermousie, i think the gals should have some job skills too! My mom always taught me that while its cool to learn to cook and all that, education was the most important thing for a girl to learn because she may never have a man to be married to! I am glad I followed her advice but I'm also glad I got married, and I am learning to cook (I learned after i got married :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mollymouser

I got married at 38, my wonderful DH was 37. We were both waiting on God ~ and HIS timing is perfect.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

I've always felt like marriage was just one of the many choices an individual got to make in his or her life. That is, until I started getting into some christian circles in college--and there was a desperation and rushing I'd never seen before. People so anxious to be wed! Such angst! People are not content as they are, so they run into marriage like one runs though a glass wall. Mostly, they come out (on the other side of marriage) all bloodied and bruised and wondering what happened.

I think we should not forbid people to marry, but to tell someone there's a certain age or time to get married is just totally irrelavant. In fact, it flies in the face of God's unique individual plan for each person. I do not presume to know God's plan for each man and woman, so I pretty much make no such judgements. Who am I to know?

What if, instead of teaching people arbitrary times to wed, we told them the meaning of marriage, God's principles for it, how to govern their lives by the Spirit, how to be content within themselves, win the world for Christ, and be a servant. I bet we'd have happier Christians and happier marriages.

quote:

We now have the twin phenomena of delayed adulthood and extended adolescence. Young Americans, by and large, are not waiting for sex . . . but they are putting marriage off into a distant future.

quote:

No, I don't think so. I wanted to finish grad school and he wanted to get a Ph.d, but we didn't really wait till we were finished to get married so to speak (we started dating again when we were both almost done with our graduate degrees). I just was not actively trying to get married, I was actively trying to get a Masters degree because that was important to me. I don't think there is anything wrong with that and I LOVE having an advanced degree!

quote:

Are people waiting to long to get married?

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveW

There was a study that our tv news (WUSA9.com) had on earlier this week about female fertility taking a drop after age 30, and while not preceptious, the study concluded that the safest and best pregnancies shoud be before age 30.

It seems from biology that God intended us to be married either in the late teens or early 20s.


IMO it is the cultural attitude of extended adolescence that causes huge problems for society; with high divorce rates being only one.